danny’s space

7:15pm - Transferred from Optus internet helpdesk to telephone helpdesk, promised that it was open until 8pm.

7:16pm - Muzak. Your call is important to us. An operator will be with you shortly.

7:20pm - More muzak. We apologise for the delay.

7:25pm - Ditto.

7:30pm - Hang up the phone, ring them again. 133 937. Follow the prompts.

7:32pm - Our telephone helpdesk is open between the hours of 8am and 7pm. Please call back.

7:33pm - Dial tone.

The machine hung up on me! The gall…

Fuel prices are expected to hit $2 by next year, says some dude on the TV. So I went to Smart.com looking for Chrysler Smart cars, those electric/petrol hybrid vehicles that look really funny. And not good funny. They’re not that expensive though, maybe $25,000 for a decent model with decent features. But as with all things car, add-ons cost an arm and a leg. The servicing probably costs the same too.

So anyway, as one does when one surfs randomly while procrastinating, i went to Dumb.com (the ‘opposite’ of smart.com). And came across dumb laws. Unfortunately they’re all American. Or maybe fortunately. Don’t know if they’re real or not, but knowing America, they might actually be! Anyway, here’s a taste:

• In West Virginia it is illegal to snooze on a train
• In Wisconsin, citizens may not murder their enemies
• In Wyoming, you may not take a picture of a rabbit in June
• In Washington, it is illegal to display a hypnotised person in a shop window
• In Utah, it is illegal not to drink milk
• In Texas, it is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when and how you are going to kill them
• In Tennessee, it is illegal to catch a fish with a lasso
• In South Dakota, if there are more than 5 native Americans on your property you may shoot them
• In South Carolina, horses may not be kept in bathtubs
• In Pennsylvania, it is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors
• In Florida, it is illegal to fart in a public place after 6pm on Thursdays
• In Minnesota, a person may not cross state lines with a duck on top of their head
• In Massachusetts, it is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder
• In Maine, you may not step out of a plane during a flight
• In Louisiana, you may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant
• In Kentucky, it is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket
• In Iowa, horses are fobidden to eat fire hydrants
• In Indiana, the value of Pi is 4, not 3.1416
• In Hawaii, coins are not allowed to be placed in someone’s ears
• In Quitman, Georgia, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road